Gross self harm avoided with Pilates April 30, 2008

I’ve been hating my ribcage for years.  It’s not deformed, it’s just big, and wide.  I’m a broad gal, and no matter how slim I get (believe me, I got mega skinny once when dumped by an ex – the “malteser and grief” diet there) – the rib cage still pokes out and makes me look broad.

I’ve always thought that just hacking a couple of the bottom ribs out would make a big difference in creating a slimmer silhouette.  But, it seems, I can now avoid the break/remove rib plan – with the altogether more serene Pilates.

 

We did some exercises last week where the aim is to flatten the rib cage, you have to kind of “think” your muscles into moving in a certain way  – it’s not easy, this Pilates lark you know – and then stretch whilst pushing ‘down’ on the ribs.  Anyhoo, I wasn’t convinced until I stood up and lo and behold, after just a wee bit of work, the ribcage did feel slightly flatter to my body.  A few of the girls felt it up and confirmed that I did have a large ribcage (yah, thanks!) – had they felt me ribs before the class, I think they would have noticed a difference.  I certainly think I did.

So  – now I’m well motivated to keep up the Pilates in the hope of achieving a less massive torso.  I do actually enjoy it, I’m not just going now I know I can sort the ribs and avoid running into things at high speed in the hope of breaking them, but it’s a heck of a bonus!

If/when I get spare time… April 24, 2008

I’m going to make these

Where have all the nice boys gone? April 22, 2008

Why is it that so many good-looking, non-freaky girls I know are still single?

Many of my gal-pals have no bloke on the scene, and no prospects in the offing – and I really can’t work out why.

They don’t look like this:

 

OK, nor do they look like this:

They are just lovely, normal girls.  Aside from looks, they are all nice people who have hobbies, interests, senses of humour, good jobs, intellect and good taste.  How come they are still on that shelf?

I’ve been pondering for a while. So, here’s a few theories (feel free to object or add as you see fit):

1. These women lead busy, fulfilled lives.  They don’t have enough opportunities or enough time to meet likely men who could be potential matches. Speed dating attracts wierdo-beardos, and dating sites aren’t up to much (i’ve been told, ok!)

2. These women are so ace, that they intimidate men that they meet. 

3. When they do meet men, they are mostly freako-beakos, and single for a reason. 

4. Is it simply a numbers game? Perhaps there are more lovely women than there are lovely men.  All the decent ones have gone.

5. Men that they meet are scared of failure, and hence reluctant to start something. 

6. This article  says blokes regress into man-boys, unwilling (unable) to commit (which may relate back to point 2).

One of my lovely single mates is convinced she is going to turn into Samantha from SATC – able to attract men, but not the right kind, and therefore turning into an ageing man-eater.  I can’t see it happening (she’s a good few years younger and is way more dignified) but I feel I need to take action and get the ball rolling for some of them.   I would love to take credit for a future wedding occasion (as my matchmaker is getting for the Boy and me).

OK then, let’s think – dating sites are out, so’s speed dating, and most of my male mates are in couples already.  Gone are the days of promenading down the main street after the dinner dance going courtin’.  Many single men are single for a reason.

Other ideas, anyone?

 

 

Proud, Loud and the Crowd April 21, 2008

Yes although it sounds like a wierd story book, the title is my summary of our last rugby game of the year yesterday.  It was a winner takes all clash against the mighty Loughborough who are never to be taken lightly.  Although we’d won earlier in the year, we knew it would be the toughest match ever – whoever came out on top, topped the league (I’m passable at maths but even I struggle with the RFUW’s systems for leagues – a bit more clarity would be welcome, guys!).

Anyhoo, I took my pre-match place amongst our band of merry supporters in the bar ahead of the game.  An exceptionally good selection of buffet items was on the table before me: scotch eggs, pork pies and Ken’s home-made pickled onions.  A few pear ciders later, the game was ready to begin and from the off, my stomach was all aflutter (not because of excessive pickled onion consumption, you understand).  Myself and another girl decided our supporting tactic was to chant the John Barnes England rap as per Gavin and Stacey, which was a good way of distracting me from my ever increasing nerves.

The only way to describe the game is “epic”.  It is seriously the hardest game I’ve seen our girls compete in.  It could have gone either way; there were moments of great drama (a near-try for them, switched to a penalty to us) and some immense tackles (at least 2 dump tackles included). 

LOUD – Throughout, I’m quite convinced I sounded more like a screeching washer woman than a serious supporter.  My voice got higher and higher and raspier and raspier.  It’s a wonder I wasn’t told to shut it.

The story was ending Loughborough’s way as they managed to grind it out and get over the line to go 5-0 ahead.  Despite massive efforts from the girls, it was all over. 

PROUD – This was one of those immense games where every single player gives 100%.  They couldn’t have tried harder and I was so so disappointed for the girls.  But I was also hugely proud that they achieved the highest ever league position in the history of the side, and gave Loughborough a serious run for their money. 

Finally – the CROWD.  Once again, Olney supporters were there in all their glory, which for some included the coveted pink and grey striped blazers.  I’m reckoning we had at least double the supporters that the home side had, and what other away fans would turn up with a pre-match buffet and half time mulled wine?  I love our club, I’ve never played for a women’s team that was better supported by everyone from across the rugby club.  We had texts coming in from people in the Olney club bar, others who play for the mens team and absent players – everyone was on side and rooting for us.

So, the season concludes with a very very near miss.  Loughborough are through on points difference and go to the play-off game next week.  Having been a spectator for most of the season due to the ropey knee, I have to conclude, it’s been a funny old year in Olney Rugby.  Still, we’ve got plenty of socials to look forward to, the National 7s, and then another chance next year to properly crack this league.  Come on the girls!!

 

 

Is Jonno up to the job? April 18, 2008

So, Johnson’s in, at the expense of Ashton.  I feel soz for Ashton as he’s been treated shabbily by the RFU but some of his decisions have been dodgy – not selecting Sinbad, keeping Mark Regan on too long etc.  Jonno could be just what England needs.

I’ve just finished reading Martin’s biography and it was a great read.  He’s a simple bloke, who does what he thinks is right, without a palava, and with integrity.  It means he’ll walk in with a lot of respect already in place – amongst players and the RFU management.  I just hope that he is given the room to operate as he sees fit; not as the RFU want to shape him.  They really need to give him free rein and trust him.  I know I do. God that sounds corny!

On another note – what does Rob Andrew do anyway?

 

Fitness..at any cost. Apart from where dignity’s concerned April 16, 2008

I got back from a run earlier in the week and decided I still had energy enough to do something else.  So the stepper got dusted off and the trampette un-elegantly manhandled from it’s usual behind the sofa position.  Daytime telly on, pint of water nearby, and I was off.

 

After 10mins on the stepper, I moved on to the trampette and ‘ran’ on it with high knees and arms pumping for all of a minute.  I would have done more, I could have done more – but I happened to see my neighbour pull up in his car opposite (light afternoons, the curtains are open).  Utterly mortified that he may see me bounding like a loony through the bay window, I promptly hopped off, grabbed the nearest mag (Viz, of all things) and bundled onto the sofa whilst trying to look normal. With a sweaty face and bad scraped back hair. And Viz magazine, upside down.

 

OK, so why should I care if the nice neighbour (old, not someone I’m trying to impress) saw me?  I go out running and do other sports in public view, after all.  I think it’s just the fact I’m doing it in the living room -  there’s something slightly shameful about exercising in your front room when there’s perfectly good parks to run round, gyms to visit and leisure centre changing rooms to be disgusted by.  I think the trampette just made it worse.  Of all things to be doing, jumpin’ around is not the most elegant. 

 

I think in future, whenever I wang on the Thai-Bo vid or decide that I will use the gym ball, I must shut the curtains. 

Wedding ethics v saving dosh April 15, 2008

Was on the Moneysavingexpert’s site yesterday looking at the wedding forums and reading in despair about Brides that are getting their frocks shipped in from China.  Although you only pay about a 10th of UK prices for your dress, I’m not keen on this, for a number of reasons:

 - although the pic of the workers shows a clean, happy environment, can we be sure this isn’t a PR pic/vid?

 - even if the sewing room conditions look nice – we don’t know how much these poor peeps are getting paid (likely, next to nowt)

 - surely sending a picture of a design you want copied infringes copyright somehow?

 - shouldn’t we be supporting our own UK dress designers? 

Anyway, despite this scarey thread there were some other dead useful ones which have given me more ideas.  I found when out running yesterday that a good way to make time pass and get through the route is to contemplate these ideas on table decorations and seasonal flowers…

Frock Shock and Lush Locks April 13, 2008

Just had 2 wedding related weekends. The first was a trip to a friends in Wiltshire, who are marrying in September this year. Leaving the boys to play golf/tennis/pool, we ladies made our way into town to have a gander at the bridesmaid dress selection (the gang: b2b, bm2b, another mate and me).

The morning was spent with one of the gals gamely trying on every bridesmaid dress possibility we could find, whipping frocks on and off in a flash. Most were totally lush although there were a few shockers in there which looked great on the hanger but clearly weren’t designed with human bodies in mind.  However, the shock to me really was the cost of them all.

They were really good quality and nice designs, but heck we were looking at £150 minimum for most of the dresses!!  With five bridesmaids of my own to think about, I suddenly got panicky about the potential cost this could rack up to. Now, I don’t want my gals in hessian sacks, but I’m loathe to spend nearly 200 bucks on each dress. 
It’s not that they’re not worth it (said with a hair-swishing L’Oreal move), it’s just that the prospect of spending £1k on dresses alone doesn’t fill me with cheer.  So, the bridesmaid dresses are now at the top of my list of Things To Worry About (also included: invites, my dress, my hair, the weather, shoes, the speeches etc etc).

Anyhoo, another weekend, another wedding event, this time the wedding of two friends of ours in Hitchin.  Gorgeous venue and a super evening and momentously fabulous hair from the new Mrs.  Lovely tresses tumbled over her shoulders in loose curls with bits gathered at the back of her head in a kind of Grecian stylee. It looked lovely and the sort of thing I’d like to have I reckon.  Meant to take a picture but inevitably got hammered and bundled onto the dancefloor instead.

Next weekend there’s no wedding related events or incidents planned, yet, but in the meantime, Tuesday brings a Bridal Summit Dinner with another mate who’s a b2b.  Flowers and colour schemes I think are top of our agenda. Plus those blimmin dresses as well, of course…

 

 

 

 

The Apprentice: You’re Vile! April 3, 2008

The Apprentice seems to bring out the very worst in awful people . What a beeeatch Jenny is proving to be, although I did laugh throughout at her truly rank neckerchief fashion statements.  Brilliant telly.

But, if I was Lucinda, I’d have slapped the cow.  Imagine what a cat fight would do for the ratings!

In a tizz, over the tent April 2, 2008

Feeling a bit scaredy this morning, we just got through the marquee final costs and, well, it’s lots.  I wouldn’t get much change from £7,500 – put it that way.  Yowzers!!  So, I’m now going to rationalise it in the form of a list, to get rid of my panic:

1. This is how much marquees cost. Get over it.

2. Having a marquee means we can bring in our own caterers and booze, which is cheaper than having in-house/hotel people.

3. We can keep partying as long as we like – a marquee doesn’t have a closing time!

4. It means we can have our do overlooking some lush countryside, and people can camp in the field.

5. There are no venues that can accommodate our 200 guests, plus 100 evening guests (apart from those with marquees).

OK. Am feeling a bit better now.  The boy doesn’t have these panicky moments but simply accepts it’s going to cost lots and offsets this against the fact it’s going to be the most fantastico day! 

Right, with all that blah out the way I can now look forward to a weekend of bridezilla heaven.  We’re off to friends’ in Wiltshire along with another set of smug-marrieds-to-be, which means there’s three brides-to-be en masse! Huzzah! Can’t wait to talk hymns, flowers, bridesmaids, shoes, invites and so on. I think the boys will revert to watching sport, playing sport and drinking beer. Each to their own!