Where have all the nice boys gone? April 22, 2008
Why is it that so many good-looking, non-freaky girls I know are still single?
Many of my gal-pals have no bloke on the scene, and no prospects in the offing - and I really can’t work out why.
They don’t look like this:
OK, nor do they look like this:
They are just lovely, normal girls. Aside from looks, they are all nice people who have hobbies, interests, senses of humour, good jobs, intellect and good taste. How come they are still on that shelf?
I’ve been pondering for a while. So, here’s a few theories (feel free to object or add as you see fit):
1. These women lead busy, fulfilled lives. They don’t have enough opportunities or enough time to meet likely men who could be potential matches. Speed dating attracts wierdo-beardos, and dating sites aren’t up to much (i’ve been told, ok!)
2. These women are so ace, that they intimidate men that they meet.
3. When they do meet men, they are mostly freako-beakos, and single for a reason.
4. Is it simply a numbers game? Perhaps there are more lovely women than there are lovely men. All the decent ones have gone.
5. Men that they meet are scared of failure, and hence reluctant to start something.
6. This article says blokes regress into man-boys, unwilling (unable) to commit (which may relate back to point 2).
One of my lovely single mates is convinced she is going to turn into Samantha from SATC - able to attract men, but not the right kind, and therefore turning into an ageing man-eater. I can’t see it happening (she’s a good few years younger and is way more dignified) but I feel I need to take action and get the ball rolling for some of them. I would love to take credit for a future wedding occasion (as my matchmaker is getting for the Boy and me).
OK then, let’s think - dating sites are out, so’s speed dating, and most of my male mates are in couples already. Gone are the days of promenading down the main street after the dinner dance going courtin’. Many single men are single for a reason.
Other ideas, anyone?
I consider myself to be a bit of a champion of single folk, fitting right into some of the categories you refer to. I’m a busy gal, as are most of my other single girl buddies, and the guys we meet don’t tend to be up to standard; more often than not they are utter commitment-phobes, or as Bridget Jones would put it, “emotional fuckwits”.
So, where do we go from here? No idea. I’m just relieved that I have plenty of other mates swimming in the pool of singledom to keep me company and swap crazy dating stories with. Coupled up folk keep telling me “it’ll happen”. Watch this space!
[...] by this blog post on the single saga, I’ve tried to ask myself why I’m single, a question us singletons [...]
These are spot-on! I’ll add this one…a lot of us single, sexy, fab women are successful and self-sufficient to the point that a relationship is a “nice to have” versus a “need to have”. And we’re much more apt to hold out for the quality guy than settle for the emotional fuckwit.