Much to The Boy’s disgust, this week I have been watching cookery programmes in the evening, whilst waiting for my fake tan to dry (can’t move when fake tanned, so consigned to watch telly whilst holding arms out in air). I’ve taken in Nigella, Hugh and Jamie and here’s my thoughts on the three of them:
I hate her. She does good recipes, as evidenced by my Cherry+Chocolate pie I cooked from her ‘How to Eat’ book at the weekend. But the woman is a pain in the arse. Her smug face is made less tolerant by what comes out of her mouth. “Plumptious beauties” is not the way I would refer to cranberries. Plumptious isn’t even a word woman!! The Boy was driven to absolute distraction by her drivel, even wailing out at times because he couldn’t bear it any more. Recipes = good. Nigella = only good as form of torture for boys. I can’t bear to watch her again, with her ethnically balanced dinner table guests (production crew), her lickety lips and her overembellished wordage – she’s like Russell Brand on that front, but with better hair and fatter hips.
I like Hugh. I’ve always liked his style of killing, cooking and eating. In his programme he shot venison which immediately got The Boy’s interest. I liked watching him butcher it up as well and exude delight that he could use the suet in his Chrimble pudding – which was a roly poly – what’s that all about? A good attempt to be different but not my idea of a Christmas pud, Hugh. Having said that, his staff at River Cottage looked like they were having a really good time, especially the mushrooming/vodka duo who took delight in winding each other up. Boy and I agreed that Hugh would be a good boss, we reckon, although I would have permanent envy of his veg patch.
Jamie was on last night and this was my last fake-tan-cooking-programme combo. I like Jamie, a friend bought me his cookbook and I’ve done loads from it – it’s my kinda food. The Jerk ham he did looked really fantastic and something I’d like to try, and the turkey and leek pie? I was saying out loud that I wanted to eat it now and Jamie said in the next instance “You wanna eat that, don’t ya?”. I also liked the addition of the slightly bonkers Italian man – he looked familiar but I couldn’t think who he was, but the combo of him and Jamie worked. Despite this positivity, Jamie still irks with me as he’s another one who makes up words which don’t exist, in the hope of making his food sound more delectable.
Hugh’s the winner for me.
Oh, and the fake tan worked out well – streak free. I am now what I consider to be a plumptious beauty.
